he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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