Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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