i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have aggressive nipples.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
