dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I need help removing her.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
