If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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