you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
