I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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