Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
