Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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