I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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