I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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