the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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