why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
