Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
