Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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