Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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