Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
