You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
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My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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