he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
