she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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