All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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