dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
