she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
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hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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