Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
