Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
