Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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