I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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