It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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