He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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