Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
