OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I lost the right to judge tonight
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
