There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
