About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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