he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh god it's open bar.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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