then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She needs sedatives and a leash
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.