Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
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I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
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you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool