I cockslap morals
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.