margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.