No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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