yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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