you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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