We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
