The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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