Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
