I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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