who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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