oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
