I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We left the knife in your bed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
