This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
