All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
