why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
