Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
