Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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