i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
