i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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