Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
