I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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