forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
