plz talk dirty to me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
