idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
