You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
