Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
