I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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